September and October News Letter

Important News Update for October 15^{th

by Robyn Bear, Remembering Our Babies}

On September 28, 2006, House Resolution # 222 was passed in the House of Representatives supporting the goals and ideals of Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. Many families watched this take place live on C-SPAN Television, watched live on the internet, and listened on news radio.

The House started out with several speakers. Georgia Representative Lynn Westmoreland, Illinois Representative Danny Davis, Iowa Representative Tom Latham, Georgia Representative Phil Gingrey, and ended with California Representative Brian Bilbray.

California Representative Brian Bilbray told of his own personal story 22 years ago. He and his wife lost their precious baby at the age of 3 months to crib death which is now known as SIDS. He was very emotional as he spoke and brought both me and my husband to tears as we watched.

Just below is a word for word of the transcription that took place on September 28^th in the House of Representative.

SUPPORTING THE GOALS AND IDEALS OF NATIONAL PREGNANCY AND INFANT LOSS REMEMBRANCE DAY

Mr. WESTMORELAND. Mr. Speaker, I move to suspend the rules and agree to the concurrent resolution (H. Con.Res. 222) supporting the goals and ideals of National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day, as amended.

Whereas each year, approximately one million pregnancies in the United States end in miscarriage, stillbirth, or the death of a newborn baby;
Whereas it is a great tragedy to lose the life of a child;
Whereas even the shortest lives are still valuable, and the grief of those who mourn the loss of these lives should not be trivialized;
Whereas during the past 3 years, Governors of all 50 States have signed proclamations designating October 15 as Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day;
Whereas the legislatures of the States of Arkansas, Kansas, Kentucky, Louisiana, Missouri, New York, Rhode Island, and South Dakota have passed concurrent resolutions recognizing October 15th of each year as Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day;
Whereas the observance of Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day may provide validation to those who have suffered a loss through miscarriage, stillbirth, or other complications;
Whereas recognizing Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day would enable the people of the United States to consider how, as individuals and communities, they can meet the needs of bereaved mothers, fathers, and family members, and work to prevent the causes of these deaths; and
Whereas October 15th of each year is an appropriate day to observe National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day:

(1) supports the goals and ideals of National Pregnancy and Infant Loss remembrance Day; and
(2) requests that the President issue a proclamation calling upon the people of the United States to observe such day with appropriate programs and activities.

The SPEAKER pro tempore. Pursuant to the rule, the gentleman from Georgia (Mr. WESTMORELAND) and the gentleman from Illinois (Mr. DAVIS) each will control 20 minutes. The Chair recognizes the gentleman from Georgia.

Mr. WESTMORELAND. Mr. Speaker, I ask unanimous consent that all Members may have 5 legislative days within which to revise and extend their remarks and include extraneous material on the resolution under consideration. The SPEAKER pro tempore. Is there objection to the request of the gentleman from Georgia?

Mr. WESTMORELAND. Mr. Speaker, I yield myself such time as I may consume. Mr. Speaker, it is an enormous tragedy to lose the life of a child, and it is a sad statistic that each year approximately 1 million pregnancies in the United States end in miscarriage, stillbirth, or the death of a newborn baby. As this resolution states, even the shortest of lives are of great value, and the grief of the parents who lose their children cannot be underestimated.

The Governors of all 50 States have joined together in designating October 15, 2006, as Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day; and I hope all Members will join me in supporting the goals and ideal of this day as well.

Mr. DAVIS of Illinois. Mr. Speaker, I yield myself such time as I may consume.

Mr. Speaker, when any baby or child dies, there is deep grief for the hopes, dreams, and wishes that will never be. Left behind are a sense of loss and a need for understanding. Every year, many lives are touched by miscarriage or the death of an infant or child. According to a 1996 study by the Center for Disease Control, 16 percent of the more than 6 million pregnancies that year ended in either a miscarriage or a stillbirth, and 26,784 births ended in infant death. Pregnancy and Infant Loss Day, which will be held on October 15, will assist in bringing the process of healing to families and will help to heal families who are coping with and recovering from a miscarriage, stillbirth, or the loss of an infant.

Families will always struggle to cope with the devastating crisis of a miscarriage or loss of an infant child. Parents often cry, feel ill or depressed, or have other emotional responses for months or years after a death. The pain is a normal part of grieving. Parents often want to talk about their pain and are pleased when others take the time to listen. People who come into contact with a grieving family have a role in helping to resolve the family’s grief. The role of each person will be determined by his or her relationship with the family and the family’s stage of grief.

As a community, we should remember that no one can take the pain away from a grieving family. We can, however, provide comfort, sympathy, and understanding. There will always be the need for compassionate support for grieving families, and I hope that all Americans will take the time on October 15 to show their compassion for families that have experienced the loss of an infant or a child.

Mr. WESTMORELAND. Mr. Speaker, I yield such time as he may consume to my friend and a distinguished member of this House from the State of Iowa (Mr. LATHAM). b 1600

Mr. LATHAM. Mr. Speaker, each year approximately 1 million pregnancies in the United States end in miscarriage, stillbirth or the death of a newborn baby. Most Americans are not aware of this startling statistic, because many of those affected grieve in silence, sometimes never coming to terms with their loss. We can help by giving all parents, grandparents, siblings, relatives and friends a special day of remembrance. In addition, bringing attention to this issue will foster greater understanding in our communities of how to meet the needs of bereaved family members and focus attention on efforts to prevent pregnancy loss and newborn deaths. The Governors of all 50 States have signed proclamations recognizing October 15 as Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day, and the legislatures of at least eight States have passed resolutions recognizing this day each year on a permanent basis.

Congress can bring even greater national awareness to this important issue by proclaiming its support for Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. Taking this action will mean something special to millions of Americans that have been affected, especially the mothers. I commend the resolution’s 54 bipartisan cosponsors and the many citizens throughout the country and in my home State of Iowa whose efforts have made consideration of this resolution possible. Mr. Speaker, I urge all Members to support the adoption of this resolution which will offer the support to individuals and families who have lost a child through miscarriage, stillbirth or other complications.

Mr. WESTMORELAND. Mr. Speaker, I yield 2 minutes to my colleague, the gentleman from Georgia (Mr. GINGREY).

Mr. GINGREY. Mr. Speaker, I thank the gentleman for yielding me time. I too want to thank Representative LATHAM for bringing this resolution to the floor and stressing the importance to make people understand that a million babies lost a year, in addition to probably another million or so that are aborted deliberately, is a lot of lost lives.

Mr. Speaker, I think the importance of this resolution is to let people know that when couples have a miscarriage, it is a child. It might be for some people, well, it is just a miscarriage. They were only 6 weeks or they were only 9 weeks, and they did not even know whether it was a boy or girl. But in the minds of that couple in many instances it is their very first pregnancy, and they are already thinking about that little boy or the little girl and what the name is going to be and the clothes that they are going to pick out and the joys they are going to have sending that child to school and raising it and seeing it play sports and become an adult some day and contribute to our great society.

We tend to forget that. And this was brought home to me pretty vividly recently when my daughter-in-law, pregnant with their first child, found out at10 weeks that the baby did not have a heartbeat. And so that baby was lost. And she went on, of course, and miscarried. And that loss will be with them forever. And so I think it is just so important for us all to realize that when somebody, when you hear about somebody having a miscarriage, do not think, well, it was just a miscarriage, it is not like losing a child or an older child, which of course I do not know that anything compares to that. But this is a significant loss. And that is why this resolution today is so important. I thank the gentleman for yielding. I thank Congressman LATHAM for bringing it forward and Congressman DAVIS as well.

Mr. WESTMORELAND. Mr. Speaker, I yield 2 minutes to the gentleman from California (Mr. BILBRAY).

Mr. BILBRAY. Mr. Speaker, I rise today to thank Mr. LATHAM and both the majority and the minority for presenting this resolution today. I do not talk about a situation that occurred over 22 years ago in my family. Actually it was 22 years, 2 months ago that my wife and I lost our child at 3 months to crib death. I am sure you have got to believe that 22 years should be able to cover up the pain and the hurt and the scar. But it does not. And though we have been blessed with five healthy children, we will always have that missing spot that that little 3-month-old baby filled. But I want to thank you for today, and I stand up here today and speak of this matter to represent the men and women who have gone through what my family has gone through, and thank you for this.

If I may leave you with one message: more important than us grieving for our losses of those young ones that have died and are not here today, the best way for us to really remember them is to appreciate and worship and thank God for the blessings of having healthy children and babies that we can take care of. Because they truly are the best memorial for our babies that we have lost, by preserving and protecting the treasures that God has given us in healthy children.

Mr. PAUL. Mr. Speaker, I am pleased to support H. Con. Res. 222, a resolution commending the goals and ideals of National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. As a practicing OB/GYN for almost 40 years, I know there are few things more devastating than losing a child to medical complications such as a miscarriage or a stillbirth. Americans should take every opportunity to provide comfort and support to people who have suffered such a grievous loss.

I also wish to pay tribute to the efforts of Mrs. Robyn Bear, who played an instrumental role in bringing this issue before Congress. Mrs. Bear’s story is an inspirational example of how a dedicated individual can make something good come from even the most tragic circumstances. After suffering six first trimester miscarriages between 1997 and 1999, Mrs. Bear began working to create a support system for parents who lost their children because of medical complications during or shortly after pregnancy. Largely due to her efforts, Governors of all 50 States have signed proclamations recognizing National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. Mrs. Bear has also been instrumental in founding several online support groups for families that have suffered the loss of an unborn or newborn child. Mrs. Bear’s efforts were also the inspiration for this legislation. I am pleased to let my colleagues know that today Mrs. Bear is the proud mother of a 6-year old girl and 3-year old twin girls.

In conclusion, Mr. Speaker, I once again urge my colleagues to support this bill. I also extend my thanks to Mrs. Robyn Bear for all her efforts to help parents who have lost a child due to a miscarriage, stillbirth, or other medical complications.

Mr. WESTMORELAND. Mr. Speaker, I have no further speakers. I want to urge all Members to support the adoption of House Concurrent Resolution 222, as amended, and I yield back the balance of my time.

The question is on the motion offered by the gentleman from Georgia (Mr. WESTMORELAND) that the House suspend the rules and agree to the concurrent resolution, H. Con. Res. 222, as amended.

The question was taken; and (two-thirds having voted in favor thereof) the rules were suspended and the concurrent resolution, as amended, was agreed to. A motion to reconsider was laid on the table.

If any of you would like to say thank you to these 5 Representatives who spoke on our behalf or the more than 50 Representatives who co-sponsored our House Resolution you can go to their websites below to email, call, or send a card to them.

***Congressman Tom Latham (Iowa) – Brought the Resolution in front of Congress and spoke on our behalf. http://www.tomlatham.house.gov/

***Congressman Lynn Westmoreland (Georgia) – Spoke on our behalf. http://westmoreland.house.gov/

***Congressman Danny Davis (Illinois) – Spoke on our behalf. http://www.house.gov/davis

***Congressman Phil Gingray (Georgia) - Spoke on our behalf. http://gingrey.house.gov/

*** Congressman Brian Bilbray (California) – Spoke on our behalf and also shared his emotional story of losing his baby 22 years ago to SIDS. http://www.house.gov/bilbray/

Another special thank you should go to Congressman Latham’s aide, Jacob Parker, who worked very hard on keeping me updated on every move that was being made. In turn, I was able to keep all of you on the News Letter updated even very close to 10 minutes before the House proceedings were to start.

Congressman Tom Latham
2447 Rayburn House Office Building
Washington, D.C. 20515-1504
Attention: Jacob Parker

The following are the co-sponsors of the House Resolution. If any one would like to reach them you by clicking on http://www.house.gov/

Rep Steven Rothman – NJ
Rep Rob Simmons – CT
Rep Vic Snyder – AR
Rep Curt Weldon – PA
Rep Robert Andrews – NJ
Rep Brian Bilbray – CA
Rep Jeb Bradley – NH
Rep Steve Chabot – OH
Rep John Conyers – MI
Rep Michael Doyle – PA
Rep Bob Etheridge – NC
Rep Barney Frank – MA
Rep Sam Graves – MO
Rep Wally Herger – CA
Rep Rush Holt – NJ
Rep Bob Inglis – SC
Rep. Steve King – IA
Rep Ron Lewis – KY
Rep Donald Manzullo – IL
Rep. Carolyn McCarthy – NY
Rep. James McGovern – MA
Rep Michael McNulty – NY
Rep Dennis Moore – KS
Rep Jim Nussle – IA
Rep Solomon Ortiz – TX
Rep Todd Russell Platts – PA
Rep Jon Porter – NV

Rep Todd Akin – MO
Rep Bob Beauprez – CO
Rep Henry Bonilla – TX
Rep Ken Calvart – CA
Rep Michael Conaway – TX
Rep Jo Ann Davis – VA
Rep Thelma Drake – VA
Rep. Michael Fitzpatrick – PA
Rep Phil Gingrey – GA
Rep Raul Grijalva – AZ
Rep Stephanie Herseth – SD
Rep Duncan Hunter – CA
Rep Dale Kildee – MI
Rep James Leach – IA
Rep Stephen Lynch – MA
Rep Jim Marshall – GA
Rep Thaddeus McCotter – MI
Rep Howard “Buck” McKeon – CA
Rep Martin Meehan – MA
Rep Robert Ney – OH
Rep James Oberstar – MN
Rep Ron Paul – TX
Rep Janice Schakowsky – IL
Rep Michael Simpson – ID
Rep Lee Terry – NE
Rep Albert Russell Winn – MD
Rep Richard Bombo – CA

I am in need of someone who can volunteer take over the news letter. As I am sure everyone is aware I am so busy I am having a hard time keeping up. I would like someone who knows how to do a professional looking news letter. All of the information.... articles, stories, everything will be provided to you. All you would have to do is to make it look like a nice news letter.

I have a news letter staff of volunteers who does everything, except for putting the news letter together. If you would like to help please email me at jovigirl@houston.rr.com with any information on experience that you may have.

It takes one to touch one
Get educated about infant and pregnancy loss
By Sharee Moore

Grief snuck up behind me and put a knife in my back. It caught me off guard, spun me around and landed me flat on my face.

My baby was dead and there was nothing anyone could do or say to change the horrible truth. Initially, family and friends rushed to my aid. There were cards, e-mails, phone calls and hugs. Within two weeks, all the commotion slowed to a halt.

In a month, friends and acquaintances acted as though nothing happened. My husband and I were alone in our grief. After three months, most people expected me to have moved on. By the end of the year, I believed I was crazy because I couldn’t conform to others’ grief schedules.

www.MedicalNewsToday.com states that more than 4 million babies across the globe die each year. In the U.S., annually, another 800,000 pregnancies end in miscarriage, states a transcript of Sound Medicine, Indiana University School of Medicine’s radio broadcast.

With such a widespread problem, infant and pregnancy loss awareness should be a top priority for our society and the medical community. To meet this need, in 1988, former President Ronald Reagan proclaimed the month of October Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness month.

The following is a list of suggestions you can use today to increase sensitivity and make a difference in one hurting parent’s life this month and beyond:

Sharee Moore is the mother of three angels, a bereavement counselor and author of “Stolen Angels: 25 Stories of Hope after Pregnancy or Infant Loss.” She can be reached at momax3angels@yahoo.com.

No one wants to discuss it and no one wants to hear about it. It’s considered a taboo subject only is it discussed in hushed conversations.

Yet our aunts have lost pregnancies, as did our grandmothers, mothers, sisters and friends. Pregnancy loss is so common yet rarely is it an open topic of discussion. With the appearance of a forbidden subject, grieving parents are left to feel isolated in their grief and devastation. They feel there is nowhere to turn and no one understands.

But there are people who do understand and there is somewhere to turn. It helps to be with people who can listen when you want or need to talk and it helps to be with people who will give you the support and comfort you need. Support for pregnancy loss survivors can be found in at a local church, hospital, community center and online. Whether the pregnancy was lost in the early weeks or the final month, there is support available for grieving parents.

I certainly did not feel that way over 12 years ago, when I suffered the first of three pregnancy losses. I was sent home from my D & C, broken-hearted and with very little information on what to do, once I physically recovered. It was never suggested to me I find support from other grieving parents through a support group for pregnancy loss. I resumed my normal activities once I felt better physically and I moved on, so to speak. I went back to work, enjoyed my lunch dates with my friends and within a few months, I was pregnant with my now 11 year old daughter. I moved forward, yes; but looking back, I never truly moved on. And I believe it is because I was not offered and given the proper support in dealing with my loss.

Nothing prepares a father or mother-to-be for the shock and pain of losing a pregnancy. A baby did not have to be born after nine months in order to be loved and treasured. A baby was anticipated and wanted and it was taken away without permission, consent or notice. The loss needs to be grieved and mourned by the parents but they need to be reassured there is no timeline on the grief process. A pregnancy loss is not something someone just gets over in a matter of days. It is a true loss, just like the loss of a pet, the death of a family member or a friend. Some days might be better than others and the grieving parent might find him/herself laughing at a joke or feeling happy. This doesn’t mean he/she has forgotten the pain of losing a baby. There may be days when the grieving parent wants to curl up in a fetal position and cry until there are no tears left.

It is imperative grieving parents are offered and given support by people who understand (and appreciate) a pregnancy loss is a real loss. Their feelings should not be minimized with an unkind comment and their loss must not be trivialized. Too often, those closest to us our friends and family members tell us what they think is the right thing to say but is really the last thing we should hear: “It was God’s way,” “It was better that it happened now, rather than later,” or “At least you have other children.”

Each of these statements might be true but none of them offer us comfort or take away the pain. I can honestly say the emotional pain is going to be there, far longer than the physical pain of a loss.

In the 12 years since my first loss, I have found we have come a long way with support for pregnancy loss. I don’t remember knowing of more than three or four pregnancy loss websites. I certainly wasn’t told of a local support group I could join. Today, support is available; it’s merely a matter of leafing through a yellow pages or doing a quick Internet search. There are pregnancy loss support groups, both online and off, virtually all over the world. Most of them were started by women (and men) who experienced pregnancy loss first-hand and who want to reach out to others. There are support groups in Australia, England, and the United States. There are support groups at the local hospital, church, community center and synagogue. Google the word pregnancy loss support group and there will be pages upon pages of valuable information. There are support groups for ectopic pregnancy loss, stillbirths and the loss of a multiple pregnancy. There are support groups for grieving fathers, grieving mothers, grieving siblings, and grieving grandparents. Support is available. It’s just a matter of seeking it out.

Hannah's book "Forever Our Angels" is available on the Remembering Our Babies Memorial Store.

Finding Hope and Healing
Building Bears for Bereaved Mommies
By Terra-Lynn Coggan, founder and director of Bears for Bereaved Mommies

Three years ago on Sept 26, 2003 my family experienced the devastating loss of a much loved and anticipated addition to our family.

My nephew Riley Joseph was born still. Riley was perfect aside from the tragic accident that had caused his life to come to an end shortly before birth. At a time when our family should have been celebrating new life and making plans for the future we were preparing for a funeral, picking out the perfect headstone, and mourning a life lost much too soon. Riley was to be the “sunshine after the rain” being predeceased a month and a half prior by our family patriarch Robert James.

Many plans had been made for the day we would bring Riley home. A nursery had been prepared and painted with the perfect colors for a bouncing baby boy, a rocking chair adorned with a teddy bear sat in the corner waiting late night feedings, a crib stood constructed waiting to be filled with the warmth of our tiny baby boy.

For some as their dreams were envisioned they become a reality. The reality for families who experience the loss of a child during pregnancy or shortly after birth is that their dreams are crushed, the future they envisioned is no longer, and they struggle daily with their loss, isolated, and surrounded by the insensitivity of others who do mean well, but do not know how to offer their sympathy in a sensitive, caring, and professional manner.

At the time of my family’s loss we were unable to locate support services within our hospital or community to assist us in incorporating our loss into our life in a healthy manner. We were sent home to “move on” with our life without Riley. Unfortunately this situation has occurred on countless occasions, due to the unavailability of programs and services that support families and assist them to find hope, healing, and new life after their loss.

We were isolated from the same individuals who supported us through the pregnancy; we struggled to “move on” with our life with out Riley, with no support and little understanding available to us.

The first three months preceding the loss of Riley were spent in isolation due to being unable to find support services to assist me to begin to understand and live with my loss. It was at this time I sought out the internet for support and understanding; I meet many wonderful individuals who like me felt compelled to the internet for support and to share their stories. The mommies I meet changed my life and help me to find hope and healing.

As I began to heal with what should have been Riley’s first birthday approaching I felt the need to do more, to give back to the many mommies who supported me through my loss and helped me realize I was not alone. Shortly thereafter I crafted a bear to gift to my sister in memory of Riley. As I crafted my bear I filled it with love and tears with every stitch I sewed. I knew my sister surly would find the love I placed within her bear and hoped she found comfort holding and crying with it, as had I. It was this first bear that was to be the beginning of the organization that has become Bears for Bereaved Mommies.

Since our first bear in September 2004 Bears for Bereaved Mommies has distributed bears to bereaved mommies throughout Canada, the United States, and the United Kingdom. I often hear from mommies who have received our bears telling me how grateful they are to have received such a thoughtful gift, how our bear offered them a special friend who they could cry with, and how our bear offered them the opportunity to find hope and healing; these things alone make Bears for Bereaved Mommies all worth while.

Bears for Bereaved Mommies is continually developing and expanding to meet the needs of those who experience pregnancy and infant loss find comfort and support and to continue our campaign to raise pregnancy and infant loss awareness.

It is my hope through the work of Bears for Bereaved Mommies, families who experience the loss of a child during pregnancy or shortly after birth will find support services to assist them in incorporating their loss into their life in a healthy manner, so that they my find hope, healing and resolve.

In closing I would like to take the opportunity to thank all those who attend our events, those who believed in me and the work I set out to do, to the individuals who support Bears for Bereaved mommies by giving donations, to the woman who devoted their time and skills to building Bears for Bereaved Mommies to what it has become today, and to the Ladies of October 15^th. My appreciation to the late Dr. Mary Eileen Travis who encouraged me to continue my work, this is for you.

Planning for the UK’s Baby Loss Awareness Campaign is underway
By Marion Currie – Campaign Coordinator and International Editor.

Baby Loss Awareness Week is Oct. 9 to 15. Now in its fourth year, Baby Loss Awareness Week will see people whose lives have been touched by the loss of a baby during pregnancy or just after birth uniting across the UK to show their support for the 2006 campaign. The week’s events will culminate on International Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day on Oct. 15.

As in previous years, volunteers are organizing a range of fundraising activities and events across the UK to increase awareness of the issues surrounding pregnancy and infant loss and to raise funds for the main UK charities providing support to bereaved families. It is hoped there will be flagship balloon releases in England, Northern Ireland, Scotland and Wales in addition to other events around the UK.

Ribbon pins will be available in return for a suggested minimum donation of £1. These can be ordered online, by post, or in bulk on a sale or return basis.

If you have time why not volunteer to make our awareness ribbon pins – all materials and full instructions are supplied – all we need is a few hours of your time.

For a full current listing of events please visit the campaign website for more details www.babyloss-awareness.org

To find out more about getting involved either to help organize an event or to make and sell ribbon pins please contact Marion the campaign coordinator on 07900 495436 or email info@babyloss-awareness.org or write to Baby Loss Awareness, PO Box 13703, Musselburgh EH21 6WX.

In each issue, remember those angel babies who are Remembrance Dates fall within the current month and celebrate the impact they have made upon our lives, no matter how short was their time with us. Remembrances are organized by day, then year.

To have an angel baby remembered, submit the date or dates of Remembrance, the angel baby’s name/moniker, and how you would like the “Remembered by” line to read, to Lynn at ourangelbabies@gmail.com. Deadline for publication is the 10^th of the month prior to the next issue date.

Editor’s note: Remembrances are now organized by day, then year

(1981) Baby Kemp, Remembered by Mom Juli Kemp-Humphries
(2003) Angel Baby Broomhall, Remembered by mom Sarah Broomhall
(b. 8/25/04 d. 9/1/04) Michelle Elizabeth, Remembered by Parents Jocelyn and Nick
(9/3/05) Emma Marie, Remembered by Mom, Dad, and Big Brother Dylan
(9/4/97) Duggan Twins, Remembered by parents Lisa and Matt Duggan
(9/4/01) Max, Remembered by parents Jessica and Jonathan Meltzer
(9/5/01) Cherylynn Reneé Smith, Remembered by Mom, Dad, Big brother Michael and Little Sister Ashley
(9/5/01) Melissa Elizabeth, Remembered by Mom Mary and Daddy Patrick
(9/5/04) Hope, Remembered by Mommy, Daddy, and Big Brother Gregory
(9/6/99) Melissa Ann Wiseman, Remembered by Mommy and Daddy
(9/6/07) Aahron Collein, Remembered by Mommy Tamara
(9/7/03) Hannah, Remembered by parents MM and SM
(9/8/00) Sarah Elizabeth, Remembered by parents Elizabeth and Michael, sister Caitlyn Glider
(9/8/01) Rueben Angelo, Remembered by Mommy, Daddy, and Sister Scotia
(9/8/02) Quentin Mackay, Remembered by Parents Ken and Julie Kell
(9/8/03) Angel Baby Pool, Remembered by Mommy Missy and Daddy Terry
(b. 9/8/05 d. 9/16/05) Zane Allen Buzzard, Remembered by Mommy and Daddy
(b. 9/9/90 d. 1/22/01) Amanda Jo, Remembered by Mommy Kelli, Daddy Shane, Sami, Cody, Alyssa, Meagan & baby Leah
(9/9/05) Anthony Christopher, Remembered by Mom Cherie and Dad Jared Ham
(9/10/04) Alivia Anntonette Hasser, Remembered by her loving family
(b. 9/10/04 d. 3/4/05) Ryan Joseph Dean Dowden, Remembered by Grandma, Grandpa and Uncle Phillip
(9/10/05) Jessica Lee Vigil, Remembered by Mom Janna and Dad Eddy
(9/10/05) Baby Sewell, Remembered by Mom and Dad
(b. 9/11/03 d. 9/13/03) Zoe Michelle Gay, Remembered by Mom, Dad, Emily, Kelsey and Travis
(9/13/01) Meghan Marie, Remembered by Mommy (Cindy), Daddy (Jim), and baby brother Anthony(9/13/04) Angel Baby Emma, Remembered by Mommy, Daddy, and Grammy and Grampy Larson(b. 9/14/00 d. 9/15/00) Valen Knight, Remembered by Mommy Thena and Daddy Tre’, little sister Carissa and little brother TJ
(9/15/03) Victoria, Remembered by Mommy, Daddy, Alexandrya, Ryan and the twins
(9/15/04) Justin Larry “JL” Reeves, Remembered by Daddy, Mama and Patrick
(9/15/05) Robert Christopher Smith, Remembered by Mommy Stephanie Higgins and Daddy Lucas Smith
(9/16/03) Danika Marie, Remembered by Parents Sean and Danielle, Sisters Kayla and Kadence
(9/17/01) Isabella Marie Frazier, Remembered by Mommy Tracy and Daddy Mark
(9/17/05) Baby Jonna Graydon, Remembered by Mom, Dad and brother Cole
(9/18/00) Chayton Tyler and Ryleigh Mikaela, Remembered by mom Korin Coringdon
(9/18/02) Ali, Remembered by mom Rochelle Campbell
(9/18/03) Bristen Sage Holmstrom Salisbury, Remembered by Mum Brit, Dad Roger, siblings Nicholas, Jacob, Alan, Emma and Kaysa
(b. 9/19/05 d. 9/23/05) Caden Vane Cummins, Remembered by Parents Shon and Niki
(9/21/05) John Lester Campbell, Remembered by Mommy Michelle and Daddy Justin
(9/22/04) Colin William Foertsch, Remembered by Mom, Dad and Twin Brother Aidan Joseph
(b. 9/23/93 d. 2/8/94) Daniel James Snelgrove, Remembered by Dad, Mom, Tyler, Colin and Jackie
(9/23/05) Baby McCarthy, Remembered by Kathleen and Tom McCarthy
(9/24/05) Bridgette Suzanne Lynne Pedersen-Speck, Remembered by Mom Kristi, Dad Greg, Brothers Charles, Brodie and Nick, and Sister Anna
(9/26/78) Christopher Lee Milford, Remembered by mom Pat Flynn
(b. 1/22/02 d. 9/26/02) Coran Thomas, Remembered by Mommy, Daddy, big brother Taran, and triplet sister and brother, Kadian and Rylan
(9/26/03) Riley Joseph Duclos-Roach, Remembered by Aunt Terra-Lynn Coggan
(9/26/05) Nevaeh Isabella Green, Remembered by Mommy Kellie and Daddy Jason
(9/27/05) Tamera Devi Lewelle, Remembered by Mom, Dad, Big Brother and Grandparents
(9/28/03) Jacob Matthew, Remembered by Parents Melissa and Jim, Brothers James and Matthew(9/28/05) Cade Kristoffer, Remembered by Parents Adam and Rhonda Combs
(9/30/05) Caroline Elizabeth, Remembered by Mommy

(2005) Baby Jack, Remembered by His Parents
(2004)Baby Leighner #1 Remembered by mom Lora Leighner
(12/2004)Baby Leighner #2 Remembered by mom Lora Leighner
(10/1/97) Blake Andrew Isaacs, Remembered by Mom, Dad, Colin and Ashley
(b. 10/2/02 d. 10/8/02) Vanessa Lane Johnston, Remembered by Mommy, Daddy, Michael, Kaelyn and Liana
(10/2/04) Cross Anthony Multari, Remembered by Farrah and Brian
(10/3/05) Micah Andrew O’Connow, Remembered by Mommy and Daddy
(10/4) Jacey Maureen, Remembered by Daddy, Mama and big brother Shay
(10/4/05) Langford’s Baby Girls, Remembered by Mommy Nicole and Daddy Lance
(10/7/00) Christian James Balauro, Remembered by Mom Laura, Dad Jeff, brothers Noah, Brendan, Shjon, and Nathaniel
(b. 10/8/00 d. 10/24/00) Avery Thomas Dowell, Remembered by Parents Eric and Kim, older brothers Christian and Ethan, and sister Makenna
(10/10/03) Connor and Matthew, Remembered by Doug and Mary Anne Hickey
(10/10/04) Kristina Rose Crisp, Remembered by Parents Stephanie and Leo, and big brothers
(10/11/03) James Ryan, Remembered by Alicia and Joey Watts, big sister Courtney and little brother Jordan
(10/12/00) Emily Rose Forgey, Remembered by Kevin and Mary Ann Anthony, brothers Robbie, Aaron and Matthew Forgey
(b. 10/12/00 d. 10/14/00) Noah Anderson Dowell, Remembered by Parents Eric and Kim, older brothers Christian and Ethan, and sister Makenna
(b. 10/12/00 d. 10/15/00) Grace Elizabeth Dowell, Remembered by Parents Eric and Kim, older brothers Christian and Ethan, and sister Makenna
(10/12/04) Madelynn Sue, Remembered by Mommy, Daddy and big sis
(10/13/99) Baby Vatne, Remembered by Jason and Charro Vatne
(10/13/03) Terrell Login, Remembered by Richard, Alison, Gemini and Tyberius Tooley
(10/13/05) Moon Child, Remembered by Earl and Carissa Roper
(10/14) Rylee Adelle McMonigal, Remembered by Mommy, Daddy, Dru and Robby
(10/14/05) Evan Chandler Rust, Remembered by Mommy, Daddy and big sis
(10/15/98) Jackson Robert Brown, Remembered by Mommy and big sister Taylor
(10/15/03) Thalias Ellette Arela, Remembered by Parents Aaron and Erica
(b. 10/15/03 d. 11/12/03) Eric Scott Landon, Jr., Remembered by Mother Erika and Father Eric Sr., big brother Matt, big sister Megan, and surviving triplet siblings Levi and Vivian
(b. 1/12/04 d. 10/15/04) William Morris “Moe” Fejes, Remembered by Mommy and Daddy
(10/15/04) David Ajanni, Remembered by Mama Christy
(b. 10/15/04 d. 10/29/04) Robert Joseph Bryce Southwell, Remembered by Mommy Heather, Daddy Prentice, and little sister Amberlee
(b. 10/16/00 d. 10/18/00) Younass Jibril Azzam, Remembered by Mommy Karla Wagner
(10/16/03) Warren, Remembered by Mommy Lynn and Daddy Lyle
(10/17/03) Mason Andrew Blum, Remembered by Parents Nicholas and Melissa
(10/18) Julian Angel Vega, Remembered by Mom
(10/18/04) Kayla Rose, Remembered by Parents Lisa and Matt Dugan
(10/19/2005) Tavish David Sanchez, Remembered by mom Yvonne P. Sanchez
(b. 10/20/92 d. 10/24/92) Nicholas Daniel, Remembered by Amy Wilson
(10/21) Riley James Sulpeveda, Remembered by Mommy, Daddy, Larry, Darby and Allie
(10/21/04) Kayela W. Higgins, Remembered by Mommy Melissa, Daddy Steven and big brother Christopher
(10/22/04) Roy Allen Downey, Remembered by Mommy Cindy and Daddy Roy
(10/24/76) Theresa Mary Smith, Remembered by Sister CLN
(10/25/03) Mya Christine Zimmerman, Remembered by Parents Monica and Frank, brother Ronnie Manning
(b. 8/8/04 d. 10/25/04) Davis Jacob Weigel, Remembered by Daddy and Mommy
(10/26/98) Baby Bear #4, Remembered by Robyn and Russell
(10/27/04) Addison Faith Halverson Morey, Remembered by Mom, Heather, Dad, Jeremy, big brother Jonas, Big sister Felecia,and little brother Gage
(10/28/01) Riley James Wilson, Remembered by Kyle and Michelle, siblings Noah, Hannah and Elijah
(10/28/01) Baby M, Remembered by Eddie and Megan, little sister Izzy
(10/28/02) Damian James and Savannah Rose Campbell, Remembered by Mommy Jamie-Lynn Oxley
(10/31/98) Diana May Boone, Remembered by Daddy, Mommy and little sister Juliana
(10/31/05) Camryn Jolie Hammond, Remembered by Mommy Candace Joy

(3/20/2006)Christian Connor Conklin. Remembered by Mommy and Daddy.
(5/15/2006-6/10/2006) Mason Gavin Gregory. Remembered by proud parents Hannah Louise Copelan and Andrew Douglas Gregory
(8/17/2005) Matthew Alexander Conklin. Remembered by Mommy and Daddy.

I write this on the four week (March 2006) anniversary our little girl, Kaleigh, was born still.

I was 38 weeks and 5 days pregnant -- only 9 days until my due date when my husband, John, and I lost Kaleigh. The grieving process continues to be very difficult for me. My husband went back to work, so he has a distraction. He is wonderful when I need him, but I am so sad and lonely.

We were married two months when we found out I was pregnant. This was our first child. We were scared but elated at the same time. Everything was normal. I had the typical morning, afternoon and evening sickness. I had my first ultrasound at 8 weeks just to make sure everything was going well and it was just so amazing to see such a small person inside me.

My first trimester went great. John came with me to the 20 week appointment because they were going to do another ultrasound. We were both so happy to see how well our baby was doing, but then the happiness then turned to panic. The tech could not find our baby's right hand, so we were off to have a Level 2 ultrasound performed. This ultrasound confirmed the baby had a deformity with its hand (we didn’t find out the sex). In addition to this problem, the doctors informed us there were other problems. After we spoke with the doctors, we went to have a fetal echo and then a 3-D ultrasound. This confirmed the only things that seemed to be wrong were the hand and arm deformities. Everything else was fine. We were sad to learn of the deformities, but we accepted it and moved on.

Week by week our excitement grew. In my third trimester, I was started on non stress tests once a week and having ultrasounds performed once a month. The doctors were monitoring me closely just as a precaution. Things were going great. I was hearing my baby's heartbeat every week and seeing her every month. We were so excited. When I was at the doctor’s office for my 38 week non-stress test, the office was running late and the baby was very active while I was waiting, but fell asleep as soon as I went in for the test. As soon as I went back for the test, the nurse panicked and sent me for an emergency ultrasound. I was not worried because I had just been to my doctor's appointment that morning and she was moving the whole time I waited. Just as I suspected it would, the ultrasound came back fine.

The weekend following the appointment had nothing out of the ordinary. Wednesday, she was more active than normal, which I didn’t think anything of because I loved being kicked, poked and prodded by her. Thursday, I had felt her kick at 5 a.m. and I had been running around all day and cleaning, but by 11 p.m., I hadn’t felt anything since that morning. I called a few people to see if this was normal and they said yes, when the baby is ready, you won’t feel as much as you did throughout the pregnancy. I was still concerned, but not extremely worried, so I waited until my appointment first thing Friday morning to mention it to the tech weighing me and to my doctor. My doctor checked me and I was dilated and then relief set in. The relief was short lived as the doctor couldn’t hear her heartbeat. Another doctor came in and he couldn’t find it either. They rushed me up to the hospital for an ultrasound. At that time is when they determined my baby girl had passed away. Labor was induced. I was only 1 cm dilated when I was admitted and by 9 p.m., I was only 3 cm, so the doctors decided to perform a c-section. I was prepped for surgery and my baby girl, Kaleigh Grace, was born still at 10:38 p.m.

It was the worst day of my life. I held my first born in my arms for hours. The doctors thought that it was a cord accident but an autopsy determined there was a blood clot at the insertion of her umbilical cord and that whatever happened, happened within 5-10 minutes. The doctors don’t even know how it
happened and even if I had been at the doctors when it happened, there still would not have been a chance to save her life.

The time since our daughter was born still has been the hardest weeks of my life. I have bad days and I have better days, as well as reading books and talking to others online. I feel so isolated from friends and family because no one knows what to say. I have panic attacks around children and don’t want to be around them. I get so upset because my daughter is not here. I used to love spring, but now I am just sad Kaleigh isn’t here to enjoy the warm weather, which I am ashamed to enjoy it. I feel like it is my fault and I should have gone to the hospital the day before. I will probably always blame myself. I stopped taking the narcotics they sent me home with because I felt like I was going to harm myself. All I wanted was to be with Kaleigh, but then I realized how unfair that was to my husband, family and friends. I just want my daughter here, but I know she can never be here physically with me. This is something I need to come to terms with, but am afraid I will never get to that place. Talking to others who have experienced this has helped me cope with the anger and pain, but the sadness will always be there.

After the death of our precious baby Eli, we were heartbroken. We hardly knew where to begin even though we had already been through it once. We held on to each other and God.

Before we even got pregnant with Eli we had decided we would try to have two more. Only after the death of Eli, was there the question whether or not we would try to have another baby. I was hurting so bad I just knew we had to try again.

We talked about adopting, which seemed a sure way to have a healthy child. My husband was just as scared as I was, but we didn’t feel adoption was for us at the time. We were sure to have another one, so we began to try for baby number four.

It only took about three months of trying before I became pregnant. I was so excited and scared at the same time. We had a lot of discussions about it all before we got pregnant. We know these babies are God’s, and they are just given to us to take care of. We knew if it were God’s will, we would have this child for a long time, as well as only possibly having this child be with us for a short while. This is a chance we were willing to take.

The beginning of the pregnancy went so very smoothly; I hardly knew I was pregnant. In fact, it was so uneventful I took several pregnancy tests just to keep confirming it. As the time went by I did start to feel pregnant, only because I started showing really early. I always felt so beautiful being pregnant and my husband thought so too. So, because of what we had gone through with our first and third sons, we considered having a genetic test run. It would give us the outcome, but we would still carry this baby to term regardless of the results.

The test was scheduled for March 6. I talked everything over with my doctor and with the geneticist in great detail. We were all on the same page, or so I thought. When I went into the test I felt very comfortable, but when the time arrived for the procedure, it all fell apart. They brought me back to the room where the test was to be done and it went down hill from there. The doctors didn’t really even know why we were there, which in and of itself was reason enough to be frightened. They didn’t know where the test was to be sent to for results and worst of all they didn’t know how to send it.

After some time of consulting with the doctors, it was determined we needed to wait at least a week. They also told me my placenta was not in “the best spot” to have the test done “without higher risk” of miscarriage. I left there knowing I couldn’t go through with the test. I let my doctor know we were not going to have the test done and we proceeded with the cerclage. I had that done every pregnancy after the first one, so I knew it would be easy. It was scheduled for April 1 and it went well.

During all this we decided to try to sell our house again even though we had just gotten it the way we liked it and were in the process of going through another pregnancy. I picked up the phone and called our real state agent to tell her this time it would stay on the market until it sold. I was 4½ months pregnant and now my husband had a job where he traveled on occasion, so I had a lot to do. Meanwhile, we had found a house that we liked in Cookeville. So here we are 4 months from delivery and we are moving to a new house in a new city. I was so excited. The process on the house seemed to be going really good. Then three days before closing our buyers’ buyer backed out. We were totally shocked. So here we are with our house half packed and now with it back on the market.

So what do we do? We went on our family vacation. I didn’t want to wait and go any later because I would be too “huge.” We had a great time, although I was so afraid someone would confuse me for a beached whale. When we got home from our vacation we had another contract on our house. This one looked to be a clean one. No strings attached. So here we go again. Only this time the closing and moving dates would be 8 weeks till delivery instead of 12, if it had sold the first time.

Meanwhile my doctor said everything was going really smoothly. He still considered me “normal” as he put it, but encouraged me to take it easy during the move. So I did, for the most part. On Saturday, July 19, 2003, we moved. Moving day came and went without a hitch. We had several friends from church helping and our parents too. We couldn’t have done it without any of them. After everyone was gone we started trying to make sense out of the mound of boxes left in our garage. And every so often I would have a contraction. Nothing major, just regular Braxton Hicks contractions.

We continued to empty boxes, one at a time. Danny went back to work on Wednesday; at that point the house was very livable. So I just kept going through the boxes that were left. I washed Toby’s clothes (we had found out we were having another boy). I tried to get his room ready, because in 7 weeks he would be joining us. Things were going really well. We got Timmy all registered for school, and the count down was on.

On July 29 I had a doctor’s appointment in Nashville. My doctor had scheduled my c-section for Sept. 2 the day after Labor Day. With all that taken care of we went on with our day. Timmy and I did some shopping and came home. When I got home I hung border, put out the new towels, and hung the shower curtain. One more room ready. One day left till big brother, Timmy left for camp. On Wednesday I packed Timmy for church camp, went to Wal-mart, got some Mums to plant came home and got busy. This whole day was really kind of weird. I was very nauseous all day. But I just put it off on being overly tired and not eating right. I really didn’t think too much of it. And between all this I was still having contractions through out the day. When night fell I was ready for bed. I had planned to go to Nashville on Thursday; one of my friends was going to give me a perm (so I wouldn’t have to worry with my hair when Toby got here). And then I was going to drop Timmy off at church for camp. So I needed a good nights sleep for my long day.

I woke up at 11:30 p.m. on July 30 to a wet bed; maybe my big boy had kicked my bladder too hard. Or maybe not, I found out when I stood up. My membranes had ruptured. I was not convinced that’s what had happened. I waited for a while before waking my husband. Then when I was sure that’s what it was, I woke him. I was in tears; terrified, I had never experienced this before. This couldn’t be happening; he wasn’t due for 7 more weeks. And I had my c-section already scheduled. This isn’t the way it was supposed to happen. We made the phone call to the doctor on call and told him what had happened. He said it sounded like my membranes ruptured and I should come on in to the hospital to be checked out. I knew Toby would be okay, just very little. We got ready, sort of, I had nothing packed, nothing ready, I still had 7 weeks to do all that stuff. When we were dressed and ready we woke up “big brother” and told him it was time. He thought we were joking because I had been having so many contractions he just wasn’t sure. But we reassured him this was indeed the real thing and he asks, “Will I still get to go to church camp?” We told him probably, but we just weren’t sure at this point. We hit the road to Baptist Hospital at 12:30 a.m. on July 31^, 2003. We were so excited; our fourth son would be born today, although tiny, he would be with us. On the way to the hospital I stared having mild contractions, every five minutes.

We got to the hospital about 1:45 a.m. The desk clerk got me checked in and taken to my room. So then here come all the questions, when? Where? How long ago? Basic pre-birth questions. They got me hooked up to monitors. The anesthesiologist came in, knowing it would be a c-section, to get his questions answered. Then in comes the doctor at about 3:10 a.m. He sees the baby is in distress and calls for an immediate c-section, no time for an epidural, we had to go. I instantly began to panic. I started crying. Since it was an emergency Danny couldn’t go in with me. I wanted him in there so badly. He told me he loved me and they took me away. He began to call our parents and my best friend.

Toby Allen Wilson came into this world on July 31, 2003, at 3:31 a.m. He weighed in at a whopping 4lbs. 3ozs. And was 17 1/2 inches long. When I awoke around 5:30 a.m. the first person I saw was my husband. He was telling me how beautiful Toby was. I wanted to see him so badly. They told me it would be a while. He was in the NICU because he was so tiny. They had put him on oxygen to help out his tiny lungs. They were already telling us he would be there for a while until he got bigger. I began to get sacred. While everyone was out checking on him I began to pray, ”God please let this baby stay with us. I can’t lose another baby. Please God give us mercy.”

When Danny came back in to my room he had a picture of our precious Toby. He looked like me! It took four tries but I finally got one that looked like me. And what a head full of dark brown hair he had. He was so beautiful. Finally the time came for me to go to my room. I asked the nurse if I could see him before I went to my room for the day. Because I knew it would be a while before I would be up and moving. The doctors and nurses in the NICU cleared out a path for me to go see Toby. The picture did him no justice. He was absolutely beautiful. I touched his warm legs and then held his tiny hand. He squeezed my finger. He knew his mommy was there for him. After a few minutes with him they took me to my room. Now I could rest, maybe.

I started calling friends to let them know Toby had arrived, all though early, he was here. I called my friend that was supposed to do my hair and asked her if it would be too much to give a perm in the hospital? She was so surprised, as was everyone I called. My mom had told me my sister was on her way in from Ohio. I was so happy she could be here to see her new nephew. My friends and family started calling. I knew it would be a busy day. The question everyone had was, Is he okay? Meaning, is he going to live? The only answer I knew at that time was yes, because I had just seen him and all was good. As the day pasted people came and went. Timmy gave his brother a kiss and left for camp.

As night fell, so did my strength. I was so tired it had been a long day. But I did want to see my sweet baby before I went to sleep. So my nurse along with Danny got me to the NICU. When I saw him I knew something was wrong. He wasn’t the same little baby I had seen just hours before. He was weak, he was lethargic. He was dying. I knew it in my heart immediately. He had what his two brothers that died had. Without a diagnosis, I knew. I had seen it twice before and now I was seeing it again. Nonketotic hyperglycenemia had struck our family again. My heart crumbled. I asked my husband why no one had told me and he said no one had noticed. The doctor from the NICU, the precious one we had dealt with twice before came over to us and once again said she had her concerns for our little Toby. She said first thing in the morning she would get the test run to confirm what we already knew to be true. I kissed my sweet angel good night and went back to my room. Needless to say we got no sleep that night. Sometime in the night the doctor from the NICU came in and said she had put Toby on the ventilator. She said he was breathing very shallow and without having the test results wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt and give him a chance.

As morning began so did our wait. The test had been done and was sent out for the results. We began to make the dreaded calls to family and friends to let them know about our baby. We called our friends that were helping with church camp and ask they get Timmy there so he could spend time with his brother before he was gone. At about 1 p.m. on Aug. 1, it was confirmed, Toby Allen Wilson was dying. We were heart broken, again.

Not knowing how long we would have with him. We wanted every second to matter. Our family and friends were there when we got the dreadful news. We were so confused we didn’t know where to begin. We told everyone they could go see him one more time and then we asked they leave so we could have time with just our family. After everyone saw him for the last time, or so we thought, they left. At this time we asked the doctor in the NICU to take him off of the ventilator. She had told us he might not take a breath on his own. We thought he would leave this life fairly quick. But as the night came so did more time with Toby. I was so very thankful to have that time with him, although it was very draining both emotionally and physically. I couldn’t sleep and didn’t want to close my eyes for fear of not hearing his last breath. The seconds turned into minutes and the minutes to hours as we waited for our child to die. What a horrific act for any parent to have to go thru, especially for a third time.

As the sun began a new day, so did my hopes for a miracle. He seemed to be doing well. His heart rate had not dropped since 2 p.m. on Friday. We decided to call family and friends to let them see him again since there was practically no change. About the time that everyone started to arrive, he started to go down hill. What an emotional roller coaster. We got pictures with everyone (which are really a treasure to have) and then asked everyone leave again. We were just as confused as they were, probably more so as we had seen the signs before knew the time was very close. There are certain things the body does as it is shutting down and we didn’t want anyone to see him that way. We held him, kissed him and held him some more. We were taking all that we could get.

As the sun began to set so did the life of our son. Toby Allen went to be with the Lord on Aug. 2, 2003 at 6 p.m. Another child gone.

How hard it was to leave the hospital empty handed, again. Once again all I had were memories and another quilted bag with the belongings of my precious baby whose life was cut short. It was time to head to our new home. That at this moment seemed so far away. Knowing this is where God put us helped ease the pain of the distance. But not the pain in my heart.

The next several days seemed like a total fog. Was this really happening again? On Sunday, Aug. 3 we came back to Nashville to make the funeral arrangements for Toby. This was ever so hard. I just could not get over we were doing this again. As we reached the funeral home, it hit met, this is real. Since we had been here already twice before I knew exactly what I wanted for Toby’s final day. I wanted it to be perfect, well as perfect as an infant funeral could be. I wanted to acknowledge all of our children. Their lives meant something and I wanted to share this with every one. As we spoke to the directors of the funeral home it became increasingly hard to maintain my composure, it is apparent we need sympathetic Christians in this industry. We were very happy (and I use the word very loosely, because “happy” we were not) there was a space next to his brothers. We got the day and time arranged and left. Now it was time to make those dreaded phone calls.

As I prepared for the funeral I had so many emotions going through my head. I wanted this to be a “special” day to honor the life of our fourth born son. All I ever wanted was the best for my children, even unto their death. The day of the funeral came and time with our son was coming to a close. We had a beautiful service. Danny did the service. It was a hard thing for him to do, but he had to do it. The service honored Toby and most of all it honored God. What a blessing to know that we will see our children again someday. This is a promise from God. That if we love Him with all our hearts, serve Him and keep His commandments we will reign with Him forever.

Has it been any easier this time you ask? No, grief still hurts. How is your faith so strong? God is still God and He hasn’t failed me. People sometimes think just because our faith is so strong that it doesn’t hurt any less. The truth is our faith is what is keeping us from being taken over by despair. Do you ever think that God is punishing you? No, this is just the result of living in a sinful world. I found this verse while studying one day and it answered that question

“Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?” “Neither this man nor his parents sinned,” said Jesus, “but this happened that the work of God might be displayed in his life.”

Have you ever questioned why? Of course I have, haven’t you? I know that one day I will know why. Why do you think it is that you are going through this suffering? All I can say is it is helping to mold me into a person that is more like Christ. All the glory goes to Him. I have prayed through this journey God will teach me everything I need to know, and this incredible pain not be wasted. God has known this path of my life since I was in my mothers’ womb. He knows how bad it hurts. He too had a son to die. He sent his son, knowing his fate. He sent his son to die for our sins that we may have eternal life.

Editor’s note: The conclusion of Amy’s story will appear in the November issue.

Thumbs Up—to Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep www.nowilaymedowntosleep.org), a non-profit organization that provides bereavement photography at no-cost for stillbirth children and their parents.

Founded by Cheryl Haggard after the death of her son Maddux and with the help of photographer Sandy Puc, NILMDTS is a fervent promoter of infant loss awareness and strives to offer the best support they can to bereaved parents. They offer beautiful keepsakes of your stillbirth babies, as well as for terminally ill children. This is one link you should bookmark and be sure to share with your friends, family and community—especially a local Hospice or infant bereavement support group.

Has anyone seen this movie? Waiting for a Heartbeat: The Battle inside a Recurrent Miscarriage Clinic (www.films.com/id/12731/Waiting_for_a_Heartbeat_The_Battle_Against_Miscarriage.htm). It is a docufilm done by the BBC. It is expensive to buy ($150), so I have not reviewed it. If you have seen this or are able to obtain a copy for review, please let me know!

I need your help! I can’t possibly view every form of media that touches on the subject of pregnancy and infant loss. So if you come across a TV show, movie, song, book, news article, magazine, etc. that deals with the subject, please send me the specifics as well as your impression of how the topic was handled. I always give credit where credit is due! Email me at ourangelbabies@gmail.com, subject “PAIL Media.”

In a beautiful garden
Together we walked
Your Father and I had a long talk ...
Your Sister was there, without a care
Inhaling the sweet warm breeze.
The end of the season was quickly approaching.
But still I longed for a sign.
For mourners have spoken of a flower in bloom
In the middle of a cold winter month ...
And of special songs, played across the airwaves
Just when their Heart needs them most.
I said to myself,
"Why couldn't I, have just one small sign?"
Just so my heart will know you are near.
When out of nowhere; solo in flight
A Monarch came into view.
With wings that sparkled,
In the warm sun rays,
I knew it had to be you.
You stayed with us there,
For quite a while.
Allowing us to take a few pictures.
I treasure that time,
For I know it was divine,
Forces that brought us together.
And now every time I see,
The Monarch Butterfly fly free ...
I'll remember your message to me.

~ Written for Baby Shane Langley Jr.
By His Mommy Dawn Molisky
Rest in Peace Angel
August 1, 2005 ~ August 1, 2005

By Jennifer Esteves for her twins,
Laila Brooke and Jaida Lynn on March 6, 2006
at 24weeks gestation

I’ve always heard it hurts so bad
To lose someone you love
I never thought it would happen to me
But my girls are in Heaven above

I wanted them OH so much
Right from the very start
Now all I have are memories
And a completely shattered heart

I felt them grow inside me
And felt them kick and play
I held them for a short while
And then they went away

Their spirits were so very strong
But their bodies so very weak
They tried so hard to stay with us
But our angels we could not keep

I’m reminded of them throughout the day
Like in their daddy’s eyes
I hear them when it’s late at night
And search to find their cries

I wish I could have kept them
On Earth – right here with me
But I know God has other plans
Which I’ll have to wait and see

He stood in the room this man of beauty quietly waiting for his cue.
Till he heard the Fathers voice, then he knew what to do.
He reached down and lifted her off her tiny bed.
With a soft voice he whispered “I’ve come to take you to a place where angels only tread.
With Her tiny body safe within his arms and wings stretched out wide
He soared into the heavens, to a place beyond the sky
A heavenly choir’s song filled there ears, before the great city caught there eyes
He carried her through the ivory gates and upon a street paved with gold.
Her destination was the king’s throne that is what she had been told.
Along the street angles waved to her and called her by her name.
She saw lots of children here dancing, singing and playing games.
When they reached the city’s center she saw what looked like a shining star
But instead it was a man who smiled, He saw her from a far.
Upon His lap she was placed, I know you she shouted and kissed Him on His face.
He laughed and played with her as they ran and jumped all over the place
He told her that in His home there is No more suffering or the feeling of pain,
No more sickness or the cold of night nor that His love will ever wane
In a calm voice she ask “What about my family I have left behind”
They will come here too my little darling, when it is time.
So give your heart to the Lord for the time is right.
He is always listening both day and night.
Our precious babies are safe with the Father.
Waiting for us to meet them there, so we can all be together.

My Chris my little Chris,
So small so fragile.
I had the privilege to hold you in my womb
for three short months.
After I lost you, I cried oh how I cried.
The thing I hold onto is you were born in
heaven. What a wonderful way to be born.
Of course I say this with tears in my eyes.
I miss you my little peanut.
But I know, I'll see you in heaven.
I love you and I'll see you later.
Jesus I know you'll take care of this little baby.
Thank you for making him whole and healthy in heaven.

License Plate Frame

6 Left In Stock

Large Ribbon Keychains

1 Available

Memorial Stone Designs
by
Anna

A personalized glass mosaic stepping stone will be reminiscent of your precious child. Placed in an outdoor garden, your child’s memory will live on amidst the beauty of vibrant flowers and graceful butterflies.

Colors can be customized.

12” round

The Memorial Stepping Stone will be shipped directly from the Artist, Anna Carillo

****PLEASE NOTE****

INTERNATIONAL SHIPPING IS ADDITIONAL AND WILL BE CHARGED TO YOUR CARD.

THE STONE WEIGHS ABOUT 10 POUNDS AND CAN BE VERY EXPENSIVE TO SHIP OUTSIDE OF THE UNITED STATES.

ADDITIONAL SHIPPING INTERNATIONALLY WILL BE DETERMINED AFTER THE ORDER IS PLACED AND YOUR CREDIT CARD WILL BE CHARGED THE ADDITIONAL SHIPPING.

Click here to Order a "Garden Memorial Stone"

The PAILRD Newsletter welcomes your letters to the Editor, as well as any comments and/or suggestions. All submissions will be edited for content before being published in the newsletter. Each submission must have a valid email address and person’s name. E-mail any submissions to aaudet@verizon.net

1) No cut and paste from websites. Not only is it a violation of copyright but it makes it much harder to edit and usually has to be rewritten.

2) Everything MUST be submitted in a press release form. This means paragraphs, proper punctuation and capitalization and complete sentences.

3) Everything must be in black type face Arial or times new roman 10 or 12 pt. No bold face, colors, fancy font or italics.

4)Doesn't make deadline doesn't run, Deadlines are usually around the 15^th of the month

Location		Date & Time	Event	Contact
*Barnsley*	Hospital chapel, Barnsley Hospital NHS Foundation Trust	15/10/06 ~ 2 pm	Memorial service with candles and balloons	Cath cjones7@nhs.net 01226 320401
*Bristol*	Memorial Woodlands	15/10/06 ~ 5 pm	Wave of Light service	Maria 0117 9498933
*Charlton nr Andover*	St. Thomas Church	15/10/06 ~ 3 pm	Memorial service
*Grimsby*	Old Clee Parish Church, Church Lane (off Clee Crescent), Old Clee	15/10/06 ~ 6.30 pm	Wave of Light service	Alison gms-alison@hotmail.co.uk Or Revd. Walker 01472 691800
*Guildford*	Guildford Cathedral	07/10/06 ~ 11 am	“A Celebration of Life” A special remembrance service for babies and children	Caroline caroline@carolinejay.com 01483 570027
*Hereford*	Oak Avenue, Queenswood	15/10/06 ~ TBA	Balloon release
*Ipswich*	Hospital Chapel	15/10/06 ~ 2 pm	Baby Loss remembrance service followed by a balloon release and refreshments	Jo 01473 630333
*Isle of Wight*	St. Georges Park, Newport	15/10/06 ~ 2 pm Release @ 3 pm	Balloon release and raffle	Shelley shelleypeach@btinternet.com
*Leeds*	Roundhay Park	07/10/06 ~ 11 am	Balloon release
*London*	St. Paul’s, Knightsbridge	TBA	Wave of Light service
*Nottingham*	Queens Medical Centre	TBA	Balloon release
*Poole*	TBA	TBA	Wave of Light service	In association with S.P.R.I.N.G. (Supporting Parents & Relatives in Neonatal Grief)
*Salford*	Babies’ Memorial Garden, Hope Hospital	15/10/06 ! 2 pm	Opening of new babies’ memorial garden with a balloon release	Trish palpaa@aol.com 07800 571341
*St. Austell*	Carlyon Bay Hotel	15/10/06 ~ 2-5 pm	Remembrance service and balloon release followed by refreshments	Jenny jenny@forgetmenotbaby.org
*Surrey/SE London*	Warlingham School, Tithepit Shaw Lane, Warlingham	15/10/06 ~ 2 pm	Balloon release	Lee CAVALLIDIGGER@aol.com
*Theale*	Village Hall, Englefield Road	14/10/06 ~ from 7.30 pm	Charity event disco with grand raffle & bingo. Tickets £2.50 under 16’s free	Mel mel.burgess@ntlworld.com Leanne lee_loves_life@hotmail.com
*Truro*	The Epiphany, Kenwyn	07/10/06 ~ 2-4 pm	Balloon release followed by refreshments	Jenny jenny@forgetmenotbaby.org
*Tunbridge Wells*	Christ Church, Prospect Road, Southbrough	01/10/06 ~ 3 pm	Sands – Tunbridge Wells, annual service of remembrance	Katie katieturner66@talktalk.net 01892 536688 or Christ Church 01892 513680
*Warrington*	St. Oswald’s Club, Padgate Lane	20/10/06 ~ 7.30 pm	Fundraiser evening, with pub quiz and other entertainments Tickets £3	Gemma nickfan1@hotmail.com 07736 322675
*Worthing*	On sea front, bottom of Sea Lane, Goring	15/10/06 ~ 2 pm Release @ 2.30 pm	Balloon release	Rosemary rosemary@forgetmenot-families.org 07838 116277

Location		Date & Time	Event	Contact
*Edinburgh*	The sanctuary, Edinburgh Royal Infirmary	15/10/06 ~ TBA	Time for quiet reflection in memory of all babies lost during pregnancy, at or shortly after birth
Falkirk	Callendar Park	15/10/06 ~ 2 - 4pm Release @ 3 pm	Balloon Release	Michelle michelle@arcampbell.co.uk
*Motherwell*	Centenary Suite, Fir Park Football Stadium, Motherwell	14/10/06 ~ 7.30 - late	Fundraising evening Tickets £5	Nic nic.love@btopenworld.com